Ask any parent, and they’ll tell you that one of the greatest challenges of bringing a new baby home is coping with exhaustion. Nothing is quite as tiring as those first few weeks of bathing, feeding, burping, and soothing, then doing it all over again.

Getting your baby settled into a predictable baby routine – a pattern for when and how often they feed and sleep – can make a huge difference in your home and your wellbeing.

A Routine Isn’t for Everyone

“Every mom and every baby is different,” says occupational therapist and co-author of Baby Sense, Megan Faure. She emphasises that there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to implementing a newborn routine.

“Some mothers are very laid-back and don’t enjoy the structure of a routine,” she says – and if you’re that kind of mom, that’s perfectly fine. Some babies are also more challenging than others. For example, babies with reflux may struggle to settle into a routine easily.

How a Baby Routine Helps Parent and Child

For other parents, a flexible routine for babies provides predictability. Knowing what your baby needs next and approximately when they will need it benefits both mom and baby.

“Having a set routine helps babies develop expectations of what is going to come next,” says Faure. “It helps them settle into the rhythm of daily life.”

Jacqui Flint of Baby Love agrees. Her company specialises in routine and sleep guidance for newborns and believes an age-appropriate routine helps babies feel secure and content because they know what is coming next and that their needs will be met.

For parents, routines offer structure, making it easier to plan daily life and increasing confidence. Plus, when the baby sleeps well, parents are more rested and better able to function in all aspects of life.

When to Start a Routine

Every baby is different, so routines should be tailored individually. Some childcare experts, like Gina Ford in Contented Little Baby Book, advocate starting a fixed routine from day one.

Faure suggests a more flexible approach. She recommends waiting a few weeks before implementing a routine to allow feeding patterns to establish and the mother’s milk supply to stabilise. “Start a routine from around six weeks, and consider a more structured schedule after six months,” she advises.

How to Implement a Flexible Routine

Understanding your baby’s internal clock is key. “Every baby has their own pattern of awake time,” says Faure. “A newborn usually cannot stay awake happily for more than 45 minutes to an hour, while a one-year-old can manage three to four hours of awake time.”

Babies also vary in their sensitivity to sensory stimuli. Some may need a stricter routine to prevent overstimulation, while others can handle more interaction and a looser routine.

Watch for sleepy cues: About ten minutes before their awake time is up, babies show signals such as fussing, rubbing eyes or ears, sucking their thumb or fist, or even hiccupping. These are your baby’s way of telling you they are ready to sleep.

Once you notice these cues, take your baby to the sleep area. Reduce sensory input by drawing curtains, dimming lights, and playing soothing music or white noise. Newborns can be swaddled, while older babies may use a sleeping bag. Feed if it’s scheduled, pat gently if needed, and your baby should settle with ease if cues are observed correctly.

Why Daytime Sleep Matters

Some parents worry that too much daytime sleep will disrupt night-time sleep. But daytime naps are essential.

“The success of your baby’s night and ultimately your night depends on a successful daytime routine,” says Flint. Babies who don’t sleep enough during the day may feed poorly, be irritable, and have delayed milestones.

A baby who naps well during the day and night will have quality awake time for interacting with the world and responding to stimuli. This promotes growth, development, and overall wellbeing.

Results of a Flexible Routine

Following a flexible routine ensures your baby gets enough sleep day and night, feeds effectively, and experiences quality awake periods. Parents benefit from structure, rest, and confidence, allowing them to enjoy parenting with less stress.

Routines and Post-Natal Depression

A predictable routine can positively impact Post-Natal Depression (PND). PND can occur anytime during a baby’s first year and may involve feelings of irritability, anxiety, sadness, or a sense of lack of control. Lack of sleep is a key factor in PND.

Having a manageable daytime and night-time routine allows parents to regain a sense of control, rest adequately, and reduce the risk or severity of PND.

For more information on Post-Natal Depression, contact PNDSA at 021 797 4498 or visit www.pndsa.co.za, or call their national helpline at 082 882 0072.

Be Kind to Yourself

Getting a routine right takes time and practice. Do not expect perfection. Every baby and parent combination is unique, and routines evolve with age and development. A flexible routine for newborns helps both baby and parent thrive, creating a calm, structured, and loving environment.

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